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[alias_savant]

"You've reached Neal. Big Brother is listening, leave a message at your own risk."


BEEP.

---

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Comments

► DURING THE MARES

[arhivista]

( zelda hasn't been great at sleeping for a while, something that bdcame significantly worse after her time on the island. usually she can muddle through, managing to get back to sleep when she wakes up, trying to hide the fact that she's still troubled by the events.

maybe it's the current fears that make this night worse, maybe it's just a really bad night. but this time when she wakes there's panic in her, something that doesn't fully fade even when she realises the semi-safety of her surroundings.

but she can't sleep now, that fear keeping her alert, the worries running quicker through her mind. and it's what makes her slip out of bed, to go read or find something to distract and occupy her mind )

[alias_savant]

[Neal isn't sleeping much either. The Mares are living up to their name in every sense of the word, and he's less than thrilled with what they're making him relive. It doesn't help that he's already a light sleeper, so when he hears the rustle of Zelda moving, he pushes up, blinking blearily at her in return.]

Everything okay?

[arhivista]

( she hums an affirmative, trying to brush it off though even to zelda it doesn't sound convincing. it's why she stops, sitting back down on the bed )

Bad dreams. Which... I suppose is why we're here.

( not that it explains some of the hesitation in her. there's a small spell that gently lights up the room, letting her see him as they talk )

Did I wake you?

[alias_savant]

[He shakes his head, because not exactly.]

I'm a light sleeper. The nightmares aren't really helping.

[Then, to test the waters:]

Do you want to talk about it?

[arhivista]

( she's quiet for a moment )

I haven't slept well since coming here. Hell.

( just to clarify that it's not this room but generally, although-- )

That's only gotten worse since the island. And it'll probably keep getting worse.

[alias_savant]

You've been through a lot.

[Hell is a world of extremes, and the bad is very, very bad.]

It makes sense that you're having trouble processing it all.

[arhivista]

More than you know.

( because it wasn't being in hell that had started her sleeping troubles, hell had simply added to it )

I've been trying to focus on doing other things, thinking about other things but... that only works when I'm awake.

[alias_savant]

[He nods, understanding.]

When you go to sleep, coping mechanisms don't really work so well.

[Which really sucks. That's when you need them most.]

Do you think the staff here is trustworthy enough to try the sleeping aids?

[arhivista]

I don't know. The nurses were helpful after the island.

( at least in doing their jobs. and she can't deny that a dreamless night sounded blissful, though would that only be ehilst they were here, whilst the mares were making it worse or would she still need it after? )

But I also feel safer with magic.

( she doesn't rely on it for everything but she's defenseless without it )

[alias_savant]

[Neal nods, because that makes sense. He doesn't blame her for feeling safer with power that she can control.]

This reminds me a lot of prison.

[Have they talked about his going to prison? Well, now is as good a time as any.]

[arhivista]

You went to prison?

( her voice is softer, a gentle probe if he's open to talking about it. though he did bring it up )

[alias_savant]

I did. Four years for bond forgery.

[Which is not the worst of the things he'd done, but what the feds could actually prove.]

Definitely the least favorite place I've ever lived.

[arhivista]

( it's more than one new thing that she's learning about him in this moment, though she doesn't offer comment or judgement on it. zelda certainly seems like she'd be a woman that would have an opinion on going to prison but if she does it isn't given )

I've never been to prison but I've known uncomfortable places before.

( some of her own doing, some of circumstance. and it's an attempt to empathise with him about it )

But... I understand what you mean about the memory. There are parts of being here that remind me of things that I've known even if it isn't entirely the same.

[alias_savant]

I think the thing that gets to you the most is the control they have over your life.

[Which is definitely in play here, given that they're not free to leave.]

You can't go anywhere and your days are so regimented and controlled that you don't even feel like you're making your own choices anymore.

[arhivista]

I suppose you're right.

( she'd never thought of it like that before but he was right, you couldn't go anywhere )

There's a lot of Hell too but... is it that we also wouldn't want to go to the other parts of it or is it solely that we can't.

[alias_savant]

I think it's more about the means than the ability. From what I've been told, people have ventured out of here but it takes time and resources.

[Not just food and supplies, but probably weapons too.]

[arhivista]

I've known people that would have been able to travel there without those hindrances. But they're not here.

( not that she'd wish for it. and those travellers she knows would cause far too much trouble )

Do you ever... fear that this is all that there is?

[alias_savant]

[He shrugs.]

I've seen too much of other worlds to be fully confident that this will be my last stop. And I've never been particularly religious. But I suppose thieves don't necessarily get into the Good Place.

[arhivista]

I think there's more to a person than just actions they've done. You may have stolen something but... have you purposely tried to hurt someone or did you help them?

( because zelda knows that there is a lot of grey area in what people have done, what they're capable of and who they are. there's a lot she's done that she's not really proud of )

I've... stolen things before. The Library I worked for... hurt people. I didn't realise it at first but I was part of that.

[alias_savant]

Well, when I was stealing things it was more for my own benefit.

[His own ego, if he's really being honest.]

But I never targeted anyone who couldn't afford to take the hit.